Open Carry – “I Got A Squash”

911 Scary Squash 544 X 345“911. What’s your emergency?”

“Ummm… there are some scary men walking around town.”

“Scary men, ma’am? What kind of men?”

“Scary men.”

“I understand that, ma’am. What are they doing?”

“They’re walking around town.”

“And that scares you, ma’am?”


“Then how are they scaring you, ma’am?”

“It’s what they’re carrying that scares me.”

“And what is it, ma’am, that they’re carrying?”

“A squash.”

“A squash, ma’am? And that’s scares you?”

“No. It’s how they’re carrying it.”

“And how is it, ma’am, that they’re carrying this squash?”

“In a gun holster. They are openly carrying this big squash in a gun holster.”

“And that scares you, ma’am?”

“Yes, I’m terrified. It looks menacing.”

“Alright, ma’am, hang tight. I’ll send an officer right over.”

Well, it really wasn’t the open carry of squash that got the cops called on some men in Austin, Texas recently. But it was some men that were exercising their right to openly carry their long guns (which is entirely legal in the state of Texas) that did.

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